How I met my husband on Match.com + 4 Tips for On-line Dating Success
I was 29 years old and tired of waiting for my Prince Charming to show up at my doorstep, so one night, I poured myself a glass of good wine and joined Match.com.
[Art by Aulio Giron]
I remember thinking that the odds had to be in my favor--if they really had 5 million members (I think that's what the commercial said?), then surely there must be one person out there for me. And he was! I was b_butterfly77, he was ambassador301 and he made the first move with a note sent three days before my subscription was scheduled to end. In the note, he told me how beautiful he thought my smile was and how it was enhanced by the substance of my profile. Impressed by his sincerity (AND photos...AND lack of grammatical errors), I wrote back with my personal e-mail address and cell number. Sidenote: this is generally a longer process according to on-line dating etiquette, but I thought it was okay to expedite things since my subscription was ending.
His name was "Cedric," and he called me within an hour to see if I was interested in going out the next day (Saturday). Sidenote: I let it go to voicemail and then waited a bit before I called him back. I countered with brunch instead, on Sunday, so as not to seem too anxious or to give it away that I didn't have a date on a Saturday night. Sigh...the life of a single gal who worked crazy hours and had virtually no time to meet new people.
At brunch, we talked for hours about our lives, families, careers and our futures. He asked me what my "non-negotiables" were in a relationship and I was completely honest (another post). He told me that he could handle them and that was refreshing to me. During the course of rest of the conversation, we found out that we knew some of the same people; that I'd actually attended the church in Harlem where his father pastored for over 30 years; and that we both attended Columbia University for grad school (and knew a few of the same people), though our time there didn't overlap.
We got such a kick out of the fact that we had all these things in common, but it was Match.com that actually brought us together in DC. Sidenote: Match.com later selected us to be one of their national "success couples" and we appeared in a few of their ads. At the end of the date, he asked me if he could see me again on Tuesday (two days later) to visit my office, since being an entrepreneur is such an important part of who I am.
Not surprisingly, we had another great time, and once the second date was over, we both knew that we'd found our other half...finally. He proposed eight months later on a sailboat in the middle of the Pacific Ocean while we were vacationing in Santa Barbara, CA. We got married in Baltimore, MD on my birthday and we'll be celebrating our sixth wedding anniversary next month.
We were recently featured in the May 2014 issue of Ebony magazine, where I gave these tips on making the most out of your on-line dating experience:
1. Manage Your Expectations
Yes, I met my husband on line, but I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I met my prince in the end. It's important to be realistic. Know that people often send fake (or old) photos and exaggerate on their profiles. Catfish, anyone?! If it sounds too good to be true, it generally is. The best thing is to use the on-line dating site as just a tool to meet people, and spend time getting to know who they really are beyond the profile.
2. Don't Wait Too Long to Meet
Don't wait too long to meet in person, because sometimes you can build up a fantasy in your head that instantly crumbles once you actually meet in person. Been there, done that!
3. Do Your Research
Before you meet someone new in person, do a few Google searches. This is necessary due diligence that is an extremely helpful benefit of the information age. If you find something that looks suspicious or makes you feel uncomfortable, don't ignore the red flag(s). Consider yourself warned don't go on the date.
4. Be Smart
Like my mom always says, "Remember your safety rules!" Share your date's contact info with a friend or family member; and make sure that you meet in a public place, preferably during the day.
P.S. In case you're curious, here's what I wrote in my profile that helped me land him...
Title: Living a Life Less Ordinary
"I'm a down-to-earth creative spirit who believes in enjoying every minute life has to offer. Of course we all go through ups and downs, but at the end of the day, to me, life is about LIVING. As an entrepreneur, I work pretty hard, in fact harder than I would for anyone else, but the rewards are invaluable. Don't get me wrong, I love to play hard too, I just think it would be nice to have someone to enjoy it with:-)
It's amazing, but so many guys automatically assume that because I'm running a business, I have the 'I don't need a man syndrome.' So NOT true!! Ok, so I do have to work a lot, but that doesn't mean that I can't/won't make time for the right person:-) My ideal match is someone I can really connect with on friendship, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual levels.
Although there's a lot to be said for the initial physical attraction, the intangibles mean a lot more to me. I like a guy who's intelligent, well-rounded, unpretentious, supportive of my dreams (and ambitious with his own), confident without being arrogant, creative, romantic, compassionate, adventurous, spontaneous, and comfortable in different environments. He loves to have fun, loves to laugh, loves to travel, loves his family, loves God, and puts a premium on happiness in his life. There's so much more I could write, but if I told you everything now, it wouldn't be any fun getting to know me, would it? Smile:-)"
Hey Haute Mamas! I'm Riche Holmes Grant, a modern mom + mompreneur who designs smart + stylish products that make your mommy gig easier.
When I'm not busy taking orders from my toddler boss, I'm contributing to MarthaStewart.com or in the kitchen whipping up delicious baby + toddler gourmet creations in my BambiniWare Apronini.
Get my FREE book on How to Make the Best Food for Your Baby here!
I live in the Washington, DC area with my husband and daughter. Follow our adventures on Instagram via @BambiniWare!
- Categories: Mommy Life Tips + Tricks
- Riche Holmes Grant